


As You Are » Zarry

by itszaynandharry



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: M/M, Teen love, Young Love, impartiality, mental disability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 08:23:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7794487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itszaynandharry/pseuds/itszaynandharry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"...I already know why you're doing this. You're doing this because of Harry's disability but people with mental disabilities can be loved too."</p><p>    "No. Get out of my house."</p><p>    .</p><p>    A heartwarming story of which one boy shows that even those with any type of mental disability can be loved just as much as those who don't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ◀⚫1⚫▶

**Author's Note:**

> IMPORTANT. READ: The severity or the effects of mental disabilities range. That means not everyone who has a mental disability is like Harry's character, so don't assume that is the case. On the other hand, don't assume no one in the world is like him either. I am writing as someone who knows someone like him so it is based off my encounters with that one single person and not everyone who's ever had a mental disability. 
> 
> I understand not everyone is like certain story characters. But there is usually at least one in the world who is and in their case, they are not just a walking stereotype. They are real people and can have stories written with characters exactly like them if the author so chooses without people being offended and without people going after the author. 
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read.
> 
> *****
> 
> This story was originally posted under my Wattpad account @itsZaynAndhaRRY and I'm posting it here too.

"I just... I just wanted to be their friend." Harry said through heavy sobs.

"I know." Zayn replied and he used a wet soppy washcloth to dab at Harry's bleeding lip.

"So why'd they push me in... in... Push me in the mud and kick my face?"

"Because they're bullies. That's why?"

"But they said they would be my friend. I don't understand Zayn."

Zayn was trying his best to clean Harry's face off so he could take his bath. But Harry was talking and crying and making it nearly impossible. So he gave up for the time being.

"They were just being mean. They like to tease people instead of helping them so they will pretend to be nice to people just to hurt them. But I don't like seeing you get hurt like this. I'll help you meet new friends if you want some. But you have to promise me you won't walk away from me to do that ever again and that if you ever see trouble, you'll go the other way, alright?"

He nodded and wiped his eyes. But Zayn knew that Harry didn't fully understand when there was trouble. He wanted everyone to be friendly like him.

"Okay. Good."

"Zayn." He said as he leaned his head against the back of the tub.

"Yeah?"

"One of the boys that was there said.... He said... I was gay? But I- I don't know what that is? What is that?"

Zayn's brow furrowed and immediately anger zipped through his entire body. It was obvious they were using it as a slur. He wanted nothing more than to find those boys again and do more than just take Harry away from them and threaten them. He was ready to turn those threats into action. But in a effort to keep Harry from panicking, he did his best not to show it.

"Well. It means a couple of things." He said, setting the cloth on the edge of the tub. "Sometimes it can mean that a person is carefree and happy."

Harry pointed to himself. "I'm happy."

"Yes. You are." And he was. Harry was the happiest soul Zayn had ever met.

"And what's the other thing it means?"

He sighed, trying to figure out the simplest way to explain it. "Well, for you it means... It means that you like other boys like yourself. You know how we kiss each other sometimes? Our special kisses that we don't share with anyone else?"

He nodded.

"It's sort of like that."

He smiled and Zayn smiled too, looking at the water that was glistening his eyes. "Alright. Now I need to finish cleaning your face. But you have to stop talking for me to do it."

"Sorry."

"And when we're done, we'll go watch cartoons together, yeah?"

Harry gasped with excitement and fiddled around under the mass of soap bubbles for the wash sponge. Zayn could not help but smile with admiration as he picked up the washcloth once more and began to dab at the cut on his lip.

Soon, when Harry's face was all clean and he was quietly playing with his bath toys, Zayn leaned back against the wall with a sigh. He knew that no matter what, he could never get tired of taking care of Harry the way he had been doing. He loved doing it too much.

Sometimes when he'd work up the courage to talk about Harry to new people, they would start off with so much rage and anger whenever he mentioned the kisses. They always assumed he was talking about an eight year old and even threatened to break his jaw and send him to the hospital. But once he explained that Harry was actually 18 and only one year younger than him, their jaws dropped in awe.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were talking about a child." They would say.

"I know." He'd reply before showing them a picture of him sitting in the middle of the floor, smiling with his elbows digging into his thighs and fists pressed at his cheeks. "That happens all the time."

And it did. Because it was hard not to mistaken him for a child when he talked about Harry. And he couldn't help but sound as if he were taking care of an eight year old because most times, it was like taking care of one.

Harry wasn't like most people his age. He was years behind the age of eighteen when it came to learning. There were many things he couldn't comprehend the way other people could. People often liked to tease him and call him "retarded", "special" and harshly express how much he wasn't _"normal"._ But Zayn never allowed that. Even though he knew it was somewhat true, he never allowed anyone to spitefully say such things about Harry even when Harry wasn't around. But especially when he was.

The first time, he ever met Harry was when he saw him walking down one of the neighborhood streets. Harry was only sixteen then. A group of boys were following him and it wasn't hard to tell that they were picking on him. He could hear the distasteful words coming from their mouths as they rudely nudged him in the back of the head.

"What you doing 'round here, retarded boy?"

"Lost your coloring book and crayons or somethin'?"

Right away he sprinted over to them to stop them. He firmly told them to get lost and that if they refused, he'd call the police and have them arrested for assault. As cowardly as Zayn figured they were, they scurried off their separate ways, concluding that leaving well enough alone was much better than any serious trouble with law enforcement.

Zayn didn't even need thirty seconds with Harry to tell there was something different about him. It was obvious. But to Harry, he didn't see anything wrong with himself. And Zayn didn't want to be the one to make him think otherwise.

Harry knew his way back home, but Zayn walked him there anyway, just in case that group of guys may have shown up again. When they reached a white house, there was a lady in the yard who'd been working in the flower bed. She gasped when she looked up and saw Harry walking with Zayn. She rose to her feet and ran over to him.

"Harry! What are you doing outside?! I thought you went back inside an hour ago! How'd you slip pass me?!"

"I went out... To walk. And... and I met some other people mummy."

She took him by the hand and gently pulled him away from Zayn. "I can see that. But I told you to stay inside. Something terrible could have happened to you out here. Come on." Ignoring Zayn, she turned around and headed inside the house. Before they went all the way in though, Harry turned around and waved at Zayn. "Bye!"

He nodded in his direction. "Bye Harry. It was nice meeting you."

And it was.

*********

**This** **story** **is** **my** **own** **,** **so** **please** **be** **kind** **and** **not** **steal** **anything** **from** **it** **. :)**


	2. ◀⚫2⚫▶

That night when Zayn went home, he wondered how he had never seen him before. He walked the neighborhood all the time and surely he would have remembered someone who was mentally challenged. Especially when they were as sweet as Harry.

But then he remembered how frantic his mother was when she saw him out. How she immediately ran over to him and expressed how much danger he was in when he was outside of the house. And he realized why he had not seen him before. His mother must've kept him sheltered from the world. Poor boy.

Knowing that Harry had slipped from his mother's watch that day scared Zayn. What if he had done it again? And what if this time those boys had come across him again and managed to do more than call him names and push him? What if they actually... hurt him? The thought of it made Zayn worry. Even if he didn't know the boy well, he still wanted to go by and make sure he was okay.

So he did.

It was a weekday after he'd gotten off from work that he drove over to the white house. He knocked on the door and waited for an answer. For a while he waited but nobody came. Then just as he was going to make up his mind to leave, someone pulled one of the curtains back. Harry was the one peeking out and he looked surprised when he saw Zayn.

After fumbling with the lock, he opened the door. "I remember you. I forgot your name but... But I remember your face." He said suddenly with a shy tone.

Zayn had smiled big that day. "Yes. I know. I walked you home, remember?"

"Mhm."

"Uh- my names Zayn. And I'm not here to do anything. I promise. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Are... You okay?"

He nodded.

"Good." But he looked confused when he realized Harry's mother hadn't come interrupting him. Even more so, if she was so protective, why did she let him open the door in the first place? "Harry." He said cautiously. "Is your mummy home?"

He shook his head. "No. She went with Nana. She said she was coming back."

Zayn was confused. "And they left you by yourself?"

"Yeah."

He didn't understand that. Why would they leave him at home alone? What if he hadn't been someone with good intentions? What if Harry had unknowingly opened his mother's home to a murderer, rapist or thief? Harry would not have known any better. And now as if he wasn't terrified enough, he was even more terrified now.

"Do you know when she's coming back, then?"

"No."

"Okay well... I'll tell you what. I'm going to leave and I want you to lock the door. Don't open it for anyone but mummy and Nana. You hear me?"

But Harry gave him such a kind smile before taking his hand and pulling him in. "I have teddy bears  
and...and uhm... And we're watching cartoons."

Zayn was skeptical about being on the other side of that door. "Really?"

They stopped in the living room and he pointed down at them. There were three: A pink bear, a white rabbit and Elmo. "He talks to me." He said pointing at Elmo.

Zayn froze. "He talks to you?"

"Yeah."

Zayn stepped away from him a little bit but not enough for Harry to notice. "How does he talk?"

He picked up the stuffed animal and held it out to Zayn. "Push his tummy."

He carefully reached out to press its stomach.

"That tickles!" A tiny voice said through speakers from inside of it.

He jumped back but couldn't help but let out a little laugh. "Oh. He talks..." He said with a breath of relief. "That's really nice Harry." And now he felt bad for assuming that just because he had a mental disability, that he was also crazy. Because he wasn't. Harry had known exactly what he was talking about. He just expressed it a little bit differently than he himself would have.

"You want to watch cartoons with me?"

Zayn faced the television to see a cat beating himself across the head with a broom as he ran out of the house and into a small garage. He used to watch Tom and Jerry all the time when he was ten or twelve years old. Every now and then, he'd still catch it on TV too. But not so much anymore. He was into other things now. "Sure. I'll watch with you."

Harry was more than happy to hear that. So he rearranged the bears so that Zayn could sit next to him in the middle of the floor.

They ended up watching TV like that for another forty five minutes when they heard keys in the front door. Zayn stood up out of respect but could hardly get up quick enough before Harry's mother ran in with grocery bags in hand. She stopped when she saw Harry and Zayn and calmly sat the bags on the floor. Another older woman came in with no bags in her hand. He assumed she was Harry's grandmother.

"Oh, the car outside belongs to you. Harry what did Nana and I tell you about letting strangers in the house?"

"He's not." he said with a shake of his head. "He's not a stranger."

Zayn spoke up. "I'm sorry ma'am. I'm Zayn. I don't know if you remember me, but I was the one who-"

"I remember." She interrupted, but not in an intentionally rude way.

"Oh."

She looked back at Harry again then examined him for anything. "Are you hurt? Hm?"

"No."

But she still looked up and down his arms and over his exposed body parts just to be sure. "What did you two do while I was gone?"

"Watch cartoons and...and he... Um Elmo- Zayn got to hear Elmo talk."

She put her hand to the side of his face. "He did?"

"Yeah."

"Did you have fun?"

He nodded.

"Good."

She picked up her bags and Zayn interrupted her. "Excuse me Ms."

"Yes?"

"I don't mean to run, but I should be going. I feel like I've already overstayed my welcome. But Harry's a really nice kid."

"Do not reduce him to a child." The older woman said giving him a glare. "He is a teenager and closer to an adult."

"I'm..." Zayn didn't know what to say to that. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I bet you are."

"Mum." Harry's mother interrupted. "Please."

Harry's Nana then disappeared and Zayn decided now would be a good time to excuse himself once more before he caused any commotion. "I really do have to be going because my parents are probably wondering where I am. But I really did have fun watching TV with Harry. Your son is very nice."

"Thank you." She said.

"You're welcome. And goodbye Harry."

"Bye."

After that, he politely went out of the house and out to his car. Harry had watched him from the window that night and waited until he left. When the car pulled off, he went straight to his mother.

"Will he come back?" He asked sadly.

She looked at her son but didn't give him an answer. "I brought home dinner tonight. Why don't you go get washed up so you can eat, yeah?" But soft rakes through his hair did not comfort him at all.


	3. ◀⚫3⚫▶

Zayn did come back though. It was some time later- about three weeks later- when he'd gone shopping and passed the toy aisle at the mart. In that moment when he saw the stuffed animals, all he could think of was Harry. _Harry would love one of these._ He knew he longed to see those rare green eyes light up along with his smile and this right here would give him a reason to do that.

He settled on a bright green alligator and bought that. He didn't bother wrapping it. Instead, he just drove right over and to Harry's white house and brought it up to the door. Not too long following the ringing of the doorbell, Nana stood in the door. She wasn't too happy about seeing him but he kind of expected that after what happened last time.

"I brought this for Harry as a gift and I'd like to give it to him personally if I could."

"Who's that at the door, mum?" He heard before the door opened wider and revealed Harry's mother. "Oh Zayn, right?" She said.

"Yes ma'am. I know you weren't expecting me today, but I have something for Harry. This... May I give it to him? I don't even have to come in. I just would like to give it to him myself if that's okay."

She smiled hesitantly but kindly at him. "Sure. I'll go get him."

"Thank you."

After enduring Nana's death glares, Harry finally appeared. "Zayn. You're here." he said and he spotted what was in Zayn's hand right away. "What's that? Is that for me?"

"Yes." Zayn held it out to him. "It's yours. Do you like it?"

He slowly took it from him with a nod.

"What do you say Harry?" His mother questioned, though she was out of view.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Have fun with it."

"Wait." He smiled.

"What?"

Like last time, he took him by the hand and pulled him inside. "Come on. I'll show you my room."

Zayn looked back to his mummy and Nana. Nana was still glaring, but his mother was half smiling. Once Zayn was dragged around the corner and out of earshot, Nana closed the door and locked it.

"I don't like him." She told her daughter.

"Why not?"

"Can't you see? Something is up. What kind of boy just shows up with a stuffed animal for a mentally challenged boy without having ill intentions? This is exactly what we've been trying to avoid."

She sighed. "I know but... I also _don't_ know. You saw the way he asked if Zayn was coming back. I feel that he's starting to understand what it's like to want somebody. I think he wants more than just you and me now. He wants peers."

Nana wasn't satisfied and nor was she giving up. "He may. But what is best for him? That's what you should think about. Just look at Zayn. Look at the way he dresses. Look at his tattoos. Is he really the kind of person you want around Harry? Just think about that and tell me if you believe you're doing the right thing."

She hesitated. "I see what you're saying. But he also brought him a gift today and he didn't hurt Harry last time he was here. I found no marks on him."

"For now. Who knows what that boy is up to? Even if it's not to hurt Harry, he might be trying to steal from us. As we speak, he could be casing the house so he can bring his boys back and take everything we have."

Harry's mother slowly brought her hands up to her mouth with a slow inhale. Her mother was right. What if that was what he was doing? Then what? But at the same time, she also didn't know. What if she was just judging him wrongly? That might even be worse.

"Well then we'll just keep a strict watch on him. We'll keep an eye on him from now on. How's that?"

Nana hummed even though she wasn't completely happy. "That's a start."

That day, Zayn spent an hour and a half there. He hadn't played with stuffed animals since he was a young child but today he did. Something Zayn realized was that Harry laughed a lot whenever he played despite nothing being noticeably funny. There was so much joy in his heart. He had no cares in the world. Zayn thought that he was lucky in that sense.

This time when Zayn was just about to leave out of the door, Harry stopped him and asked him directly. "Are you coming back?"

"I don't know, Harry. Maybe if your mummy and Nana doesn't mind."

"Oh, we mind." Nana said with a fold of her arms.

But Harry's mother wasn't having any of it. "Mum, stop. I don't mind, Zayn. Maybe Harry could use at least one person to keep him company. And he seems to really like you."

Zayn smiled warmly at Harry. "That's great because I like him too."

"You'll be back?" Harry asked.

This time he nodded right away. "Yes. I'll be back again. I promise." And Zayn had ever been so thrilled by being able to see the delight on a sixteen year old's face.

*

*

*

"If there is no emergency, such as a house fire or any other threat to his life, Harry needs to stay inside. We don't allow him outside unless it's to go out in the backyard."

That was Mummy and Nana's one strict rule. And since the two of them had already established that they would keep a close eye on Zayn, they tried to make sure someone would always be there with Zayn and Harry just in case he tried to willingly disobey and take Harry out anyway.

Zayn worked part-time days, so he had to pick and choose when he'd be over and very few times he knew ahead of time. But that didn't matter. Nana didn't work at all, so usually she was there anyway.

However, occasionally she was involved with the Senior Center downtown, so there were some days when she would not be there at all. She'd leave when her daughter left for work early in the morning and she wouldn't come back until after five o'clock when her daughter picked her up after work. Which meant a long day out and away from home. Zayn liked those days better because Nana would hardly let him breathe. Without her there, he felt more free.

Harry's lunch during the day was always preprepared so that he wouldn't have to cook and it was always a sandwich and chips or something readymade so he didn't have to bother with a microwave either. Zayn didn't think that was good for him at all, so there were some days where he would bring lunch for him or he'd bring something to cook for him. Every now and then he would buy little sweet snacks too. And it was always something like gummy bears or chocolate covered peanuts. Harry always liked it. He liked anything Zayn got for him.

One day when Harry's mother was at work and Nana was at the Senior Center, Zayn had been helping Harry put his toys away when Harry stopped him midway through. "Zayn."

"Yeah, Harry?"

"I want um... I want to go outside."

"Well we can go out into the backyard when we've finished with this, okay?"

"No... outside. I want to see people."

Zayn remembered sitting down that day and shaking his head. "We can't. Mummy said no. Remember?"

"But I..." He huffed frustratedly. "I don't want to be here. I want... I- I want to go outside."

Hearing that saddened Zayn. Of course he had known that Harry wasn't content on being in the house all day because of the day when he disappeared from home to go walking without his mother knowing. But now he was expressing it. He was expressing it the best way he knew how and Zayn couldn't believe that he was helping them to hem Harry up inside when he himself didn't even think it was right nor fair.

After sitting there for a moment and thinking, he finally sighed to himself. It was after two o'clock. But maybe he could take him out for an hour and a half or so and then come back. That should be quick enough to get back before his mummy and grandmother came home.

"Alright Harry. We can go. But you can't say anything to anybody about this. Especially your Nana and mummy."

He nodded his head wildly. "Okay."

Zayn reluctantly stood up and went to the room door. When he turned back, he noticed Harry had his green alligator clutched under his arm. It had now become his favorite stuffed animal.

"Harry, you can't take that." He said.

"What?"

"You have to put that back in the bin."

Harry frowned. "Why not? I don't want to leave it."

"We're coming back and it's going to be here when we get here."

Harry looked around his room. "We're coming back?" He asked.

Zayn chuckled a little. "Yeah, we have to. If we don't, Mummy and Nana will cry because they'll miss you. And I know they'll be sad too."

"Oh." Harry did love his mother and grandmother and he didn't want them to be sad. Whenever he cried, one of them would hold him. But who would hold them while he was gone? No one. So he put his alligator down and he took Zayn's hand instead.

That day they walked the block and Zayn answered any questions Harry may have had in the simplest way possible. He kept Harry close and he never let go of his hand for anything. Harry didn't feel like it was a restriction at all. He was just glad to be outside.

But while he was outside pointing at all the beautiful things that nature had to bring, Zayn couldn't get the look on Harry's face when he asked about coming back out of his head. He wasn't thrilled to know they would be back. So why wasn't he thrilled? And why didn't he want to come back?


	4. ◀⚫4⚫▶

Besides his laughter and his joyous heart, there was something else Zayn really adored about Harry. The seventeen year old was charming in his own way. 

Harry always danced to the theme songs of his cartoons and sometimes wanted Zayn to join in. He'd even pull Zayn off the couch without asking just to do it. He could read just a little bit too, so sometimes he got his learning cards out and would play made up games by himself with those before Zayn decided to be serious and use them to help him learn a lot of new things that he hadn't ever learned before. He never once complained.

Harry also liked forts. He told Zayn that his mother helped him build them a few times before and that he wanted to make another one. So there was one night when they went taking the pillows off the living room couch and off of his bed and ran into his bedroom to build one with his sheets and comforters. Nana was never pleased, but Zayn didn't care. Harry was happy and that was all that mattered.

Zayn really liked Harry's mother. She was sweet. But what he didn't like was that she was responsible for teaching him from home yet was never there. Since she didn't let Harry go to public school, he thought she should have hired a tutor to come teach him. But he also knew that was never going to happen. If she always claimed any part outside of the house was dangerous, surely she wouldn't bring any part of outside inside. He himself was barely allowed here. So he felt it was his responsibly. He felt it was his responsibility to secretly teach Harry.

So he did.

He went out and bought brand new learning cards and he always made sure Harry watched educational cartoons. Dora the Explorer became his favorite and his favorite character was Boots. There was just something about a monkey in boots that made him laugh uncontrollably.

"Monkeys don't wear boots, silly!" He'd say before giggling and no matter how many times Zayn had heard that phrase, he laughed right along with him.

Still though, after all that, Zayn's favorite part of the day was when he'd stay for dinner and after eating with the family, he and Harry would crawl into Harry's bed and lay out, just looking at the ceiling. Sometimes Harry liked to ask Zayn to tell him stories and whenever Zayn agreed, he listened intently without interruption. Occasionally Harry was so tired from a full day of learning and playing, that he would fall asleep and that was when Zayn carefully got out of bed and left for the night.

Whenever Harry was awakened by his mother or Nana sometime later in the night so that he could change into his pajamas, Harry would always feel sad. He didn't like when he left like that. He wanted to always be able to say goodbye first.

Just in case Zayn never came back again.

*

*

*

But Harry had nothing worry about. Zayn would never just leave him like that. No, he had grown too fond of him. He had come to love spending time with him. So much so that his parents began to worry.

"Zayn." His mother said one day when he was just about to leave out for work. By now they knew all about Harry. They already had the pleasure of meeting him a couple times when Zayn managed to pick a day in his mummy and Nana's absence to sneak him out of the house.

"Yes mum?"

"Come sit down for a moment."

He did.

"We're beginning to worry about you and your social wellbeing. When you're not at home or at work, you're always with Harry. I hope you don't feel an obligation to him. You don't always have to be there. Even if you do feel a bit... Sorry for him."

He smiled and shrugged. "I don't feel sorry for him. Why would I? He's happier than I am most days."

His dad had been standing at the counter trying to drink down a cup of coffee. "We don't mean to be judgmental but... We think maybe you're spending a little bit too much time with him. You met him at the beginning of last year and since then, he's the only person you've befriended. You don't really spend much of your social time with actual normal people anymore and I feel as though you're starting to forget that he's just not."

Zayn frowned. "What is normal even supposed to be? What makes him not normal?"

His parents looked between each other. "Well see-"

"The fact that he has a mental disability? That he's a little bit slower than most? Cause he's got the heart of a kid?" He stood up. "No. None of that makes him abnormal. It just makes him different and hell of a lot special cause he's in a position to teach people how to see the world differently and show us how to appreciate what we have. And you know what? Maybe none of us are as normal as we think we are. Maybe we're just used to being so damn boring, that we ostracize anybody who is lucky enough not to be as miserable as we are!"

That day, Zayn stormed out of the house and went to work with a lot of things on his mind. He knew that his parents meant no harm and were only saying what they thought was best. But he didn't like it. It made him so angry. He thought they were better than that. Weren't they?

Of course they were. Because when he returned home that night, his parents sat him down once more for a talk. This time it was to apologize. After forgiving him for cursing at them and then looking at things from the point of view that Zayn saw them, they really understood where he was coming from. They understood how much Zayn really liked to be around Harry and promised to never interfere with that again.

Zayn was only 18 at the time. But it was comforting to know they had successfully raised son who was impartial to all.


	5. ◀⚫5⚫▶

While Zayn was spending all that time with Harry, making and bringing lunch for him and sneaking him in and out of the house, it never once occurred to him that in the midst of his laughs and giggles, he was actually developing new and unusual feelings for him.

He and Harry did many things that required them to be within close proximity of each other. But it was never anything like letting Harry lie against him with an arm draped around him while he ran his fingers through his hair. And it was never anything like actually returning a kiss on the cheek after Harry had only done it to him first as a celebration reaction to guessing his playing cards right. This was just something that occurred.

Harry hadn't known at all what it was really like to have multiple types of affection for people. Yes, he knew what it was like to love Mummy and Nana and miss them whenever they decided to leave him in the house alone. But he didn't really understand what it was like to _really_ want someone. He didn't understand what it was like to want someone not as a family member or a mother figure but as a partner. So he wouldn't really understand the thoughts in Zayn's brain even if Zayn explained it to him in simple terms.

One thing Zayn did know though was that he was important to Harry. Harry would not have always been so happy to see him if he wasn't and he wouldn't love to be around him so much if he wasn't. Harry gave every indication of Zayn's importance to him even when he didn't know it.

Zayn tried to hide it because honestly, he didn't know how appropriate it was. Because though he viewed Harry as a normal teenager, others didn't. So what would they think of him if they knew what he was feeling? What would Harry's Nana and Mummy think? What would happen if they found out? Nana would be all the more happy to use that as a reason to keep him away from Harry. He didn't really want to risk that. He was sure his sudden absence would be hard on both of them.

However, as much as he truly tried, his resistance didn't last long....

It was one night when Mummy and Nana were still out. They had been out for a while and Zayn decided he wouldn't leave until they came back. Harry liked it because he spent that time trying to read the books he had. Zayn was helping him.

"This... is... a... um... a um..."

"Caterpillar."

Caterpillar. He ... will... so- sss- "

"Soon."

"Soon... be a.. um...."

Beautiful butterfly."

"Butterfly?" He cheesed. "I seen those all the time in... in mummy's um- mummy's garden outside."

"Yeah. With the pretty wings. Those sure are butterflies. Good job."

Zayn couldn't even express how proud he was to see Harry associate not just the sound of words with the pictures or real life objects, but how he associated the sound of words with the written words too. He had been learning so much since Zayn said he would teach him. Harry was certainly capable of much more than his mother and grandmother thought.

"When a...um what you say Zayn?"

"Caterpillar."

"Yeah. Caterpillar is-"

"Harry."

"Huh?"

He smiled warmly at the boy who was still trying to sound out the next few words. "Harry. You have to look at me." He said softly.

Harry stopped reading the book and faced Zayn. "Hm?"

Zayn must've sat there looking at him and debating for a half minute before he made any kind of decision. Harry was still looking at him, so innocent with those big green eyes. And he just had to. He just needed to see what it was like to put his own lips on the lips of the one person who would forever make him a grateful man. Just one time. It's all he asked.

He did put his hand behind Harry's head but he didn't force him to come forward. It was only to keep him in place. When their lips touched, Zayn went no further than pressing them together. It was a quick kiss but it was long enough to leave Harry puzzled.

"Zayn." He said. "My mummy don't kiss me there... But I did... I did see that on my - my cartoons once.

Zayn had laughed very lightly at that. "Yeah. I know. Lip kisses usually mean that a person really likes you. Sometimes they love you too but they surely like you differently than they like everyone else. It's a special kind of feeling. Which means it deserves a special kind of kiss. Like the one I gave you. I'll try to help you understand as you get older. Okay?"

"Okay." Harry bounced with excitement then turned his attention to the book again. "Is... ready to...k- ch-"

"Change."

"Change into a...."

Harry continued to read his book and Zayn helped him all the way up until he finished. When they were done reading, they crawled into Harry's bed and lay out to face the ceiling just as they always had done. But just as Zayn was about to pull the cover up over them, Harry unexpectedly leaned down over him and he gave him the same exact kiss that he had been given earlier. Zayn stilled. He definitely didn't see that coming.

But when he saw the little grin on Harry's face, reality hit and he knew that he couldn't just pretend like it didn't happen. He had to say something. "Harry. Can you keep a secret?"

He nodded. "I won't tell."

"Okay." He sat up on his elbow and faced the younger boy. "You can't tell mummy and Nana about the special kisses, understand?"

Harry was not happy about that. "Why not?"

"Because... Because if they find out, I won't be able to see you again."

His bottom lip started to tremble and he grasped the material of Zayn's shirt before pushing his face in one of the bed pillows. "What? Why?"

Zayn put his hand over his hand to sooth him. "Because that's the way it is. They won't be happy that we shared a special kiss so they'll try to stop me from coming over to play and read with you. You don't want that to happen, do you?"

It was quiet.

"Harry?" He heard little whimpering noises and he saw Harry's shoulders vibrating. His face was still buried into the pillow. "Harry look at me."

Harry did face him and his eyes were already red and watery. He was crying and Zayn would have broken down at the sight of him if he didn't already know that would just make Harry panic more. "That's only going to happen if they find out. But they haven't found out and we don't want them to, so that's why we're being quiet about it, yeah?"

He nodded and wiped his eyes. "I won't say anything." He mumbled out.

"Good... Me either." He leaned over and he kissed Harry's forehead light and tenderly. No matter how small the gestures had been, having Harry's Nana and mummy find out what they had done was asking both to be in deep trouble and to be forcibly separated from each other. But Zayn couldn't even imagine being suddenly being ripped apart and forced to never see or speak to Harry again. That was so much like a nightmare that he'd wake in the middle of the night screaming and sweating from.

He knew he would do everything in his power to make sure nothing of the sort ever happened. But it was just too bad that sometimes even nightmares still turned into unwanted reality.


	6. ◀⚫6⚫▶

This was a horrible day. Probably the worst day of Zayn's life. It was one night after they had settled from playing and Zayn really wished he could rewind the time. He really wished things had happened a different way.

Harry didn't know. He never had it before Zayn came along, so he couldn't really explain to him the feeling he kept getting around him. He usually only got the little butterflies in his stomach when he was really scared. But these butterflies only came with Zayn and he knew that he wasn't scared of him. Zayn had told him the kisses were special kisses for a special kind of feeling. Was this the special kind of feeling?

Harry liked when they were on the floor and lying on their backs at night while Zayn would read to him. That always seemed to calm him whenever he was feeling a bit downhearted about being inside. So that night, Zayn decided he'd read Curious George to him. Harry had a collection of Curious George books. Harry liked reading about his adventures most of all because he wanted to be outside. Zayn knew that was also the reason why Dora the Explorer was his favorite cartoon.

When Zayn closed the yellow book and sat it off to the side, Harry called his name. "Zayn."

"Yeah Harry?"

He rolled over sideways to cuddle him the way Zayn sometimes did him. "I don't... want you to go."

"I know." He said. "But I can't stay too much longer. My parents will be looking for me."

Harry turned over and maneuvered himself so he could sit up in Zayn's lap. He looked down sadly. "We could um... play games."

Now he sat up to look at Harry. He wasn't going to budge. Sometimes games with Harry got long winded and he'd be there longer than he wanted to. "No. I'm sorry."

Harry frowned and let out a huff. But Zayn knew special kisses always sent his sadness away. So that's what he did. He kissed him quickly on the lips.

Harry let a tiny grin seep through and then returned the favor. That made Zayn smile and he kissed Harry again. So did Harry to him and the cycle repeated. It was just a small game of trading kisses that soon ended with Zayn attacking Harry with face and neck kisses.

"Ah!" Harry yelled and laughed out loud. "Stop Zayn!" Zayn's breath was so warm and foreign there. It tickled.

Zayn chuckled at the giggling boy and carefully rolled him over on his back so that he lay out on him and in between his legs.

"That tickled." Harry said shyly looking up at him.

"I know." And the second he leaned down to give him one last kiss... it was a mistake.

"What do you think you're doing?! Get off of him!"

Zayn jumped and faced the door to see Harry's grandmother there. "I'm sorry. I- it's not what it looks like." He said as he scrambled off top of him.

"Oh it's exactly what it looks like! You're disgusting!"

"Mum. What's going on? Why are you hollering?" Harry's mother slipped in the room.

"Honey, this _Zayn_ that you have let into our home was trying to rape Harry when I came in."

"That's not true! I was not." Zayn looked at Harry but Harry had no idea what rape was. So he couldn't exactly tell them that he didn't come close to being raped even if he really wanted to.

Harry's mother stood silent but her mouth was parted in disbelief.

"I heard Harry yell for him to stop. When I came back to see what was going on, he was on top of Harry, in between his legs and he was kissing him."

"But that's not-."

"Not true? Are you calling me a liar? Are you saying that's not what I saw?"

"No. I did that. But I wasn't trying to rape him. I swear!"

"So why did you kiss him?"

Zayn was silent.

"Exactly!" She turned to her daughter. "I told you he was trouble. I knew he was up to no good the second I saw him. I thought he was just a thief. But he's actually worse than I thought. He's a sick rapist."

"How could you?" Harry's mother said. And it was the first time she wasn't sweet to him. It was the first time she ever sided with her mother against him.

He stood up to his feet. "Ma'am. I didn't..."

"You liar." She said through gritted teeth. "How many times have you touched him, hm?"

"I haven't touched him anywhere and I didn't try to rape him. Harry knows I wouldn't try to hurt him."

Nana folded her arms. "Harry doesn't know anything. You tried to take advantage of his disability. He's naïve and you knew it."

Zayn was offended. "That's a lie! I wouldn't take advantage of Harry."

"Just stop it!" Harry's mother yelled.

When Harry realized they were hollering only at Zayn and not them both, he stood up behind Zayn and grasped his arm. "Leave him alone!"

His mother and grandmother gasped. "Harry, don't you ever talk to us like that again. You hear me?" His mother said. "Now let go of him and go sit in the living room and wait for us. I'll be there to put your cartoons on in a minute."

Harry let go of Zayn and sadly went out of the room to do as she said.

When he was gone, she turned to him even angrier than she was before. She couldn't bear the thought of Harry coming to this criminal's defense. "I can't believe I was stupid enough to let you come near my boy. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't send you to jail!"

"Because I never tried to rape him. I had tickled Harry and I... I did kiss him. But that was as far as I was going to go. I swear on my life that was it."

"Harry's underage." Nana pointed out. "You shouldn't be kissing him at all. You're an adult. Honey send him to jail anyway. I've had enough of this."

She folded her arms and tightened her lips. "You know what? Only because you are an only child, I won't send you to jail. I won't break your parents heart and expose your true colors. But you know what I will do? I'm going to tell you I don't want you back here ever again! You're not allowed to see Harry or bring him anything! Get out of my house!"

"But Ms.-"

"Get out! And if you ever come back, I'm going to call the police!"

Tears began to well up in Zayn's eyes and he stopped arguing. "Yes ma'am. I'm going." They backed out of the way so he wouldn't touch them. And then once he passed them, they followed him out of the room.

When Harry saw Zayn crying and walking through the living room, he sprung from the couch. "Zayn! Why are... Why are you- you leaving?" Zayn stopped to look sadly at him.

"Harry, don't talk to him. You can't talk to him."

Harry frowned. "What mummy?"

"Go sit down."

"Mummy."

"I said go sit down. And what are you stopping for boy?! Get in your car and go home! Stay any longer and I will have you put in jail! Don't think I'm joking cause that's a mistake!"

"I'm sorry Harry. I have to go." After that moment, he didn't look back again. He went out of the house, got in his car and he left.

"Will he come back, mummy?" Harry asked as he looked away from the window. And he hadn't asked that in a long time because he usually knew he would see Zayn again. But he could feel that something was different tonight. Zayn never left there crying before. Nana and Mummy never hollered at him either.

"No. He won't be back." She said. "There will be no more Zayn, no more anybody. You have me and Nana and that's all you need. We can't trust anybody out there. That's why you have to stay in here."

She tried to comfort him by pulling him to her chest and rubbing his back. But that wasn't comforting at all. Harry had realized his biggest fear. Zayn was never coming back again. And he didn't even get the chance to say goodbye.


	7. ◀⚫7⚫▶

Zayn didn't want to tell his parents what happened that night but he found that he didn't really have a choice. He walked in the door crying and they weren't going to let him go to bed without explaining what had him so upset.

He was nervous. His parents hadn't known about the relationship he had with Harry. He never told them. Even though he had already expressed how much he hated when people said Harry wasn't normal, he still knew they may have felt differently about him having a romantic relationship with him versus only being friends with him.

Regardless of that, he told them about everything. The kisses, the cuddles and how Harry's grandmother found them and convinced his mother that he was about to rape Harry. It all came out. When he was done, his father was shaking his head.

"I'm sorry. But we can't do anything about it, Zayn. And technically, his grandmother was right. He is underage."

Zayn looked down in his lap. "So what are you saying? There's no way to see him?"

"Not unless you want to go to jail. He's a still a minor."

"When does he turn eighteen?" His mother asked.

"Uh, the beginning of February. The first. Yeah, the first of February because that's when his mother bought presents and stuff."

"Oh. Well maybe you could wait till then. I know that's a long time from now but..."

Zayn shook his head. "You two don't understand. They don't ever let Harry outside and it wasn't that she was angry about him being underage. She threatened to send me to jail if I came to the house _at all._ Sure he'll be eighteen but it will still be her house. So nothing will really change."

"Oh." She looked toward her husband. She didn't know what to say.

"We can't tell you what to do, son." His father said. "And we don't know how you feel about Harry-"

"I really like him. That's how I feel about him. Listen, I know it's not what you expected and not what you're used to but I don't care. I really like him. Being with him makes me... He makes me feel like a kid again. He makes me happy in general. And I've never met anyone who could make me feel the way he makes me feel."

His mother smiled and his dad nodded to say that he understood his feelings for Harry.

"Then you need to decide what you're going to do. I can't tell you to forget about him but you don't want to go to jail either. So my only advice is to find another way. Maybe there is one. Maybe there's not. Just don't do anything stupid. We love you and we like whoever you like and support whatever relationship you're in. I know that you-"

He was interrupted by Zayn jumping up out of his chair. "You're right! Oh, thanks dad!" He ran over to hug him.

"Uh, what?"

"There is another way. I know what to do." Then he kissed his mother's cheek. "Thanks for the talk. I feel so much better now."

"Zayn... What are you thinking about doing?!" His father yelled out to him as he was leaving the kitchen.

"Goodnight! Love you!"

His parents looked at each other, now curious about what Zayn was thinking. They sure hoped he wasn't going to do what they were thinking he might do.

➡➡➡➡➡

A month later, Zayn had stood outside of the white house for a short while after ringing the doorbell. But finally someone peeked out of the curtain. He was relieved to see it was Harry and not anyone else.

"Zayn!" Harry yelled when he opened the door. He immediately reached out and hugged him tightly.

"Hey Harry. I missed you."

"I missed you too."

He stood there for ten seconds, waiting for Harry to let go. When he realized Harry wasn't letting go but instead, just whimpering and sniffling, he lightly nudged him off. "What's wrong Harry?"

"Mummy said that... She said that you wasn't um- coming back. I didn't... Want that."

He brought Harry's head down so that he could place a sweet kiss on his forehead. "I'll always come back. I could never leave you for good."

Harry wiped his eyes, those swords already calming him. "Mummy um... She threw my alligator away."

Zayn's heart fell to his feet. That was Harry's favorite stuffed animal. "I'm sorry. It's all my fault. She only did it because she doesn't like me anymore. Which is sort of what I need to talk about, so let me inside. I have some stuff to explain to you. It's about me coming to see you, alright?"

"Okay." He took Zayn's hand and he led him inside the house and into the living room. They sat out in the middle of the floor.

"Harry, the truth is that I'm not supposed to be here. I snuck to see you. I know when your mother is gone because the car isn't in the driveway. I also know if your Nana is at the Senior Center or not because she opens the blinds to the window in her room when she's here. The blinds aren't open and no car is in the driveway, so I know that you're the only one here today." He sighed, knowing that Harry didn't  understand all of that.

"I just want you to know that I won't be coming over as often. But I'll still be coming by to see you. I promise you this isn't the last time we'll see each other. I'll come and spend the day with you like I always have. I just have to leave before your mummy and Nana gets back so they don't know I've been here. Alright?"

"Yes." He said and Zayn smiled.

"Now can you still keep a secret?"

He nodded. "Uh huh. I won't tell."

He hesitated. "Don't tell mummy and Nana that I come by to see you. If you say anything, you won't ever be able to see me again. So can you promise not to tell them I came here?"

Again, he nodded. "I promise."

"That's not just for today Harry. You have to do that all the time. You can't _ever_ tell them."

He still nodded for a third time. "I won't... I'll be quiet."

Zayn sighed in relief. "Okay. That's great. I'm proud of you, Harry." He looked around the living room for something to do. "Where are your toys? We can play with your stuffed animals if you want."

He shook his head. "No."

"Then go get your learning cards and we'll do that instead."

"No."

Zayn was puzzled. "I'm confused. What do you want to do then?"

Suddenly he got up and went down the hallway. When he came back, he was holding three different books in his hands. He didn't say anything but Zayn still smiled when he sat next to him and lay his head on his shoulder.

He chuckled, took one of the books from Harry and then opened it up across both of their laps. "Alright. I get it. I'll read to you."


	8. ◀⚫8⚫▶

So that's the way Zayn would go about it. It was his "other way" to see Harry without being sent to jail. The day he met Harry, he never thought he would ever go this far just to see him. But he really cared about the seventeen year old boy and would do anything for him. Anything.

Zayn made it his priority to try to see Harry once a week. Some weeks he wasn't able to see him due to his Nana bailing on the Senior Center and staying home. But he found that that never discouraged Harry at all. He always knew that Zayn was going to come back. He never worried and he never cried.

Just as Zayn had grown to like him and had to finally come to terms about the thoughts he had been having before, it happened to him yet another time. This time it was just after Zayn and Harry had come into the house one evening. They'd just been out walking the block. It was chilly then. Somewhere in late October.

They had gone to lay in Harry's bed so that they could get warm under the covers. Harry kept stretching a slinky that he had brought in bed with him.

"Guess what, Harry." He said.

"What?"

He smiled and brought his hands to his hair. "I love you."

Harry smiled. "Mummy and Nana always says that."

"Do you ever say it back?" Zayn asked.

"Mhm."

"Oh. That's interesting." He twisted his curls now. "Tell me how you feel about me though, Harry? How do you feel about me?"

"Um." He thought for a moment then dropped the slinky to the ground. "I- I love you too, Zayn. Yeah... I love you."

Zayn's heart did cartwheels. "It makes me so happy to hear you say that. Did you know that?"

"No."

"Well it does. It makes me very happy." He rubbed Harry's shoulder and Harry snuggled into him in response to that gesture. Even if Harry wasn't quite sure what the extent or the meaning of that word was, Zayn knew that he did love him. He might even argue that Harry had already come close to such a feeling the day he hollered at his mother and Nana and told them to leave him alone.

How could he not love this boy? How could he not be compelled to want to do anything for him? It was impossible. Harry's charms were just part of how wonderful he was. He was delicate in every way. Every part of him was precious.

Zayn wanted to protect Harry. He wanted to protect him from anything dangerous and at the same time wanted to show him the world. He wanted to let him fulfill his curiosities. He wanted him to fully enjoy life, to learn new things. Harry deserved all those good things, but how was he going to get them as long as he was with his mother? How was he going to ever really enjoy his life when he was really being kept from it?

He couldn't. This was like a prison in itself but worse. Because even though Harry had the ability to go out, no one other than the person he was banned from seeing would ever grant him that freedom.

Zayn paused at the thought. No one but him... The only time Harry ever did anything new was when he was with Zayn. He was only truly happy with him. By the way Harry would light up when he saw him and then sadden when it was time for him to leave, told him everything.

But he felt the same way though. He was only truly happy with Harry. The best part of his week was coming over to be with him. And even though he was scared to tell his parents about what he was doing, going home to reflect on the day he spent with him meant so much to him.

However, as he lay there and thought about those things, he realized something. They weren't truly happy without each other. They knew that they needed each other. So what if... What if they only had each other? What if it was only the two of them alone and together? He could take care of Harry on his own. He was sure he could. He had a job. He knew what it was like to work, to have to pay bills and do things necessary to take care of people. So what if he did that with Harry. What if he could? He wanted to.

He looked down at Harry who had his eyes closed. Sure it would be extra work than it would be if he chose to forget about Harry and just find someone else without special needs. But he felt that this would be worth it. It would be worth every extra amount of energy he would expend in trying to make Harry happy.

"Harry." He called in a soothing tone.

"Hm?"

"I have a serious question for you."

He raised his head to look at him. "What?"

"This is just something I thought about now. But I'm willing to do it if you say yes." He sighed heavily but he also couldn't take the big grin off his face. He was already so excited. "Will you run away with me?"

Harry's brows furrowed. "What? What do you... mean, Zayn?"

He sat up so that Harry could no longer lay on him. "I mean I want you to come somewhere with me. I'll take you all the places you want to go. And we can go out and get food and meet new people because I know that's what you want to do. I'll teach you all kinds of new things. We'll play with your stuffed animals and read all the books you want to read. And the best part is that there will be no interruptions. We can do what we want together."

Harry looked down sadly. "Then we come back and... And um mummy. She- she won't like when I go outside. I'll get in trouble. I don't... Want that."

But Zayn put his hand to the side of his face. "Well see, that's another thing Harry. You won't get in trouble because you'll be with me. You know how when we always go out to walk, you always say you don't want to come back?"

He nodded.

"Well it'll be different than that. We'll go out and this time we won't come back. That's what running away is."

Harry gasped excitedly. "Won't come back?"

"No. We won't. It'll be me and you. You'll see more than you've ever seen. I'll get to take you more places than just around the block. We could have so much more fun Harry. Do you want to do that? Do you want to run away with me?"

Harry stopped for a moment, thinking like he had thought earlier. One thing Zayn was sure of was that his thoughts weren't very complex. So he didn't think too much would hinder him from saying what he wanted to hear.

"Tomorrow?" He finally asked.

"I'm not sure about when yet but I do know it won't be tomorrow. This is the first time I have thought about it. But I won't go if you don't go."

But- but." Harry said frantically. "I do want to. My- I don't like it here... I want to go with you Zayn."

Zayn's heart had combusted in his chest. Really? Harry wanted to run away with him? The boy he loved wanted to run away with him? He couldn't explain the feeling.

"Okay Harry. You know what that means then?"

"No. What?"

"It means you can't say anything. You have to keep it a secret. You can't tell mummy or Nana we're running away."

"I won't tell." He said and Zayn knew he wouldn't. Because every time he told him to kept a secret, he always did. There was no reason he wouldn't do the same now.

"Alright then." He said. "It's settled. I can't wait to go with you."

He bounced excitedly to match Zayn expressions. "Me too."

Zayn tackled him onto the bed and planted happy kisses all over his face. Harry laughed and giggled and didn't push him away. When Zayn was done and just looking down at his beautiful face, he knew then that he needed to start making preparations to take him away from here. There was less than three and a half months before Harry's eighteenth birthday with so much work to be done. And he needed to figure out just where he was supposed to start in all of this tangled up mess.


	9. ◀⚫9⚫▶

It didn't take Zayn too long to devise a plan about how he'd go about running away with Harry. He knew he needed to wait until he was eighteen though, or otherwise it would be kidnapping whether Harry wanted to go or not. Because he was still a minor. He was still under his mother's custody and guardianship.

Three and a half months zoomed by and Zayn couldn't really stick to his once a week schedule. But only because he had took on full time work and couldn't be there every week. He came by just once in the last month and when he was there, he only played and read a little bit with Harry and then spent the rest of his time looking through his mummy's important papers. Harry never understood why. But Zayn explained to him that he needed to do that if they were going to run away properly. He needed his tracks covered legally.

Zayn put everything he had into it. He put everything he had into making sure he and Harry could freely be together and be happy. And he did it all the way up until the day that it was supposed to happen. All the way up until February 10th. That was today's date. Today's date as in the date he Harry were finally going to run away together...

"Um Zayn. I'm done. C- can we go watch cartoons now?"

Zayn looked up from where he had been leaning against the wall and faced the tub. Harry was looking at him.

"Yeah. Take the stopper out and get out of the tub so I can dry you."

Harry did as he was told and carefully stepped out onto the chilly tile floor. Zayn was there with a large towel so he could dry him off.

"I'm cold." Harry mumbled as Zayn gently wiped the towel over him.

"I know but you'll be able to get dressed in a minute."

Harry watched Zayn carefully dry him. He remembered that his mummy also did this whenever he got out of the tub. She did really take care of him. He wondered what she'd do when he wasn't there for her to take care of him anymore. "You think um... You think mummy will be sad?" He asked out of the blue.

Zayn frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Cause I'll be... I won't be here. Will she cry?"

Zayn thought for moment. He didn't want to say anything that might discourage him. He spent too much time and preparation in getting to this point and it was pretty much too late to turn back now. But also he didn't want to lie to him either. "I don't know Harry. We can't be completely sure of what she'll do because we won't be here to see."

"But she'll um- She'll miss me?"

"I'm sure she will. You're her son, Harry." He threw the towel off to the side and stood up. Then he put his hand to Harry's face and smiled sweetly at him. "But everything will be alright. You have nothing to worry about because I'm going to take care of you. Understand?"

Harry nodded and Zayn pointed to the toilet where Harry's clothes had been sitting on the back of it. "Alright now get dressed. When you're finished with that, I'll put your cartoons on for you. Your mummy and Nana should be home within the next hour or so. But I have to pack a few more of your things in the car before they get here."

"I can't wait." Harry said excitedly. "I can't wait to go out."

"Me either."

After that, Zayn cleaned the tub out while Harry got himself dressed. They finished their tasks around the same time, so after Zayn put his cartoons on, he took the last few items out to the car. There were only a few knickknack things and a couple important things of Harry's that he needed to bring. Everything else was already at the new place because Zayn had made a trip there earlier today.

When Zayn came back in, he found cotton swabs and peroxide for Harry's lip. He cringed at the thought of how it had come about.

Today, he had let Harry ride in his car for the first time ever. They had gone to the small pharmacy to pick up a few small cosmetic items they would need in their new home. But while Zayn was asking one of the employees for help, he let go of Harry's hand and Harry ended up slipping off and outside of the store. When he realized what happened, he ran out to find him. He found him sitting in the mud and crying as he wiped his bloody lip with his hands. And after purchasing the item he asked about, he rushed home so that Harry could take a bath.

He hated himself for letting it happen. Harry was in his care and all he did was take his eyes and hands off of him for one moment. He knew that from here on out, he needed to be more careful. This could not happen under his watch ever again. He was determined not to let it.

They both sat there in the middle of the living room floor watching cartoons together until about five o'clock. The sun was already setting then. Not too long after one of Harry's fifteen minute shows started, they heard keys in the door.

Harry gasped. "They're here."

"I know. Shh." Zayn said although he too was feeling worry come over him. Because if Harry saw him panic, he would end up panicking too.

He stood up on his feet and braced himself for the coming reaction. Once the door opened, he heard footsteps moving rather quickly through the house, getting closer the more split seconds passed. Once the source of the footsteps reached the living room and he saw the anger burning in their eyes, he held his breath. It was time now. It was finally time to come face to face with Harry's biggest cloud.

His own mother and grandmother.


	10. ◀⚫10⚫▶

"You!" Harry's mother accused. "I knew it was your car the second I saw it outside. I told you not to come back here anymore!"

"You did. But I couldn't stay away."

"So you can touch him all over again, huh? That's what you want to do?" Nana said. She went over to Harry who had stood up and the first thing she noticed was his lip. "What did you do to him?! Sweetie look at his lip. He hit Harry."

"What?" His mother ran over to him and pulled him into a hug. "You put your hands on my son again?!"

"No. I didn't. We went out today and some stupid thugs did that. Ask him yourself."

"What?! You went out?! This is why he's supposed to stay inside! You knew that and still took him out! Just get out of my house!"

"When Harry comes with me."

"He's not leaving and going anywhere with you. Look at what you let happen to him. Get out." She repeated.

"No."

"What're you waiting for?" Nana said. "Just call the police. He thinks he's tough but let's see how tough he is in prison. They don't take too kindly to rapists."

He glared at her. "You and I both know I didn't try to rape Harry that night, so why don't you just cut the act and tell the truth. You never liked me the second you laid eyes on me and from that day onward you were looking for anything to get me to stop seeing Harry. Well it's not going to work anymore. You can't stop me from seeing him because he's coming with me. Come on Harry. Get your coat."

Harry tried to pull away but his mother kept holding him. "Stay right here Harry. You don't have to be scared of him."

"Scared of me? He's not scared of me. He loves me and I love him too."

"Ugh. You are sick, you know that?" Nana chirped in and she gave him a nasty look. "You're taking advantage of his disability to satisfy your criminal and sexual motives. Honey, send him to jail. Stop trying to give him chances. You're just putting other young girls and boys in danger by leaving this monster on the streets."

"Wait, you think I am the monster? Me?! No, _you two_ are the monsters! You think it's better for him that he stays locked up! You think it's better that you don't teach him anything! Harry doesn't want to be inside. Can't you see that?!"

"Harry is incompetent.  He doesn't know what he wants. That's why I and his mother are here."

He was fuming now. "You hypocrite! You hate when people judge him because of his disability yet you are using it against him! Harry knows more than you think. But neither of you take the time to be around him to find out!"

"You shut your mouth!" Harry's mother said in reply. "You don't know anything. It's a terrible world out there and he is safe and sound when he stays in here with us."

"You are so transparent. You don't care about how dangerous the world is for him. You just don't want to teach him because you're afraid that if you do, he won't be as dependent as he is anymore and you won't be able to easily persuade him into letting you lock him away from the world. You're both selfish people. And you know what? I think it's pretty clear why you keep putting off calling the police every time your mother tells you to. You know that I didn't try to rape Harry that night, don't you?"

"I said shut your mouth!"

"Why can't you just be honest with yourself because I already know why you're doing this. You're doing this because of Harry's disability but people with mental disabilities can be loved too."

"No. Get out of my house."

"Not without Harry. He wants to come with me. So he's coming with me."

"Harry doesn't want to come with you."

"Yes he does." He reached out for Harry's hand and Harry reached back but his mother snatched him away before they could touch.

"Harry. Tell them who you want to go with. Go on. Tell them."

They looked at him intently just to see what he would say. "I want... I want to go with Zayn."

His mother and grandmother gasped. "Look what you did! You've brainwashed him!" His mother let go of Harry and came over to Zayn. She was repeatedly hitting him in his chest, at his face and on his arms. When Harry saw that, he let out an ear piercing scream that got everybody's attention.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

The whole room went almost quiet and all that could be heard was Harry's sobs. All this had overwhelmed him. It was just too much for him to witness.

"Come here, Harry." Zayn said in a soothing voice and Harry ran over to him and hugged him tightly.

"Mummy," he sniffled. "Mummy hit you."

"I know. But I'm okay. Why don't you go get your coat and wait for me by the front door. Okay?"

He nodded and he took his coat from the arm of the couch.

"If you take him out of that door, I'm calling the police surely this time. And I will charge you with kidnapping."

Zayn wasn't bothered. "He's eighteen and wants to go with me. So it's not kidnapping."

"You think you're so smart, don't you?" Nana asked. "Well you're not. In case you didn't know, he is mentally retarded which means he'll likely need a guardian. We're going to go to court, his mother will legally become his guardian and then you'll have no choice but to bring him back to us or go to jail."

"It's too late for that. You should've thought about that before he turned eighteen."

She folded her arms. "And why do you say that?"

He laughed. "Because we're married."

Their jaws dropped as they looked at him. "You liar."

"Nope. We've been married for five days now. Our marriage certificate should be coming in the mail at our new place in about a week in a half. Now I guess when it comes to a guardian, I'll be the one to decide whether he actually needs one or not, won't I?" By the dumbfounded looks on their faces, Zayn knew he had gotten them.

"You're lying. You've never been here with Harry! How could you have marred him?" Nana said.

"I've been here almost every week since you told me to stop coming. If you were ever home with Harry like you should have been, you would have known that. You would have known how many times I've taken him out of the house."

"But you needed proof of his age to even get the marriage license to marry him. You couldn't get your hands on those things without knowing where they are." Harry's mother said smugly.

"The bottom drawer of the desk in the office."

She gasped. "You went though my important papers?! You thief!"

"Harry is eighteen. He has the right to his social security card and birth certificate just as you have the right to yours. You try explaining to the police that you tried keeping those things away from an eighteen year old who wanted to marry. See how far that gets you."

Nana was so upset. "You tricked him. You tricked him into marrying you and now there's nothing he can do. I still stand by my word. You are sick!"

"I have had enough of you, Nana. As a matter of fact, I've had enough of both of you. So what I'm going do is... I'm going to take my husband and we're going to go home. To a real home. One that's far away from here and one that's not full of selfish people with selfish desires. Harry's going to see everything he wants to see. He's going be an eighteen year old, he's going to be happy and most of all, he's going be loved... By me... And you can't do anything about it."

Nana and her daughter stared at him completely shocked, anger and betrayal both written on their faces. They couldn't believe they did this. They let this man into their home and had no clue that he would or could ever take Harry away from them. Why didn't they do better? Why didn't they ever watch Harry more carefully?

When Zayn exited the living room, they didn't even try to stop him. He found Harry in the kitchen playing with the buttons on his coat. "Are you ready Harry?" He asked.

He nodded. "Yeah."

Zayn took his hand. "Come on then. Let's go."

They went out to the car and they did see Harry's mother and grandmother in the doorway. But Zayn still drove off. He drove off without so much as a second glance in their direction.


	11. ◀⚫11⚫▶

"Here Harry. Eat up." Zayn said as he sat a plate down in front of Harry who was sitting at the dining room table of his parents' house.

"Thank you."

He kissed Harry's temple. "You're welcome. I'll be back."

He went back into the kitchen where his mother and father were so he could fix his own plate.

"I'm so happy." His mother said. "I was so worried they wouldn't let you take him. I thought they might call the police or something."

"His Nana pushed it. But when I told them he was eighteen, that we were married and then had Harry tell them who he wanted to go with, they didn't really have a choice but to let me take him."

His father smiled. "I know I was skeptical about you marrying Harry at first. But I think you were very smart to do that."

"I just hate that we couldn't really give the wedding and reception we wished for you." His mother said sadly.

"Don't worry sweetheart, we can still do that when they renew vows or something. At least we were able to be his two witnesses at the wedding. So we didn't miss out on that."

"True." She smiled and had to wipe her eyes because she let a couple tears of joy slip. Her son was officially going move out and away from them. She felt it was too soon. "Well are you sure you don't want to stay here and just leave out in the morning? It's been a full day and you have an hour's drive."

"I'm sure." Zayn said once his plate was fixed. "I want go now so we can spend our first night together there. I'm ready to show him our new place and he's been excited to see it all day. I don't want to keep him waiting any longer."

"Well he's going to love it." She said. "And I know he's going to be happy there. Also it might be a good thing you decided move a little distance away. It gives us a place to visit now."

"Yep. It does."

They all went into the dining room together. Zayn sat next to Harry and his parents sat across from them.

"How does the food taste Harry?" His mother asked.

"Really good."

Zayn smiled. "You're a great cook mum. Everyone loves your food."

"I certainly do. Look at what the years of eating it has done to my perfect model figure." His father said and he rubbed his belly to show what he was talking about. Zayn just shook his head and used his spoon to pick up food from his plate. After eating the spoonful, he looked over at Harry who was eating silently as he always did.

He still couldn't believe Harry's mother and grandmother tried to keep him away from him all because they wanted to hide Harry. They really tried to keep him from loving this precious green eyed boy next to him but nothing could stop him from doing so. No matter what, Harry would always be his boy. He would never ever stop taking care of him.

*

*

*

"Don't peek Harry."

"I'm not."

Zayn took the key and unlocked the door, then opened it. Afterward, he took his hand and pulled him inside the apartment. When he locked the door and turned on the light, he was ready to reveal. They were already in the living room. "Okay. You can uncover your eyes now."

Harry took his hand from his eyes and looked around. There was a lot of stuff in the middle of the living room yet to be placed in their proper places. But he gasped when he saw what was on the little sofa. "My alligator!" He ran over to it and picked it up, cuddling it against his chest.

"I knew it was your favorite stuffed animal. So I bought you a new one. This time it won't get thrown away."

"I like it Zayn."

"Good. I'm glad. And you can see that we're in the living room right now. This is where you can sit in front of the TV with your alligator and watch all the cartoons you want. Can you wait?"

"No." He said excitedly.

"Good. And there, you see." He pointed from the living room where it opened to the kitchen. "That's the kitchen. I'll do a lot of the cooking but I'll probably teach you some things and let you help me prepare a few things. You want to do that?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

They passed the small dining area and went in the short hallway. "We just passed the bathroom. But I know that you know how it works. However, this is the bedroom. We share it."

"Share it?"

"Yep. I know it's just my full sized bed from home but it's enough room for us both to sleep comfortably for now and when I save up, I'll get us a bigger bed."

Harry nodded. "Will you um- will you read stories... To me... When I go to bed?"

"I'll read stories to you every night you want them read to you. I also brought all your books here and I'll get new books as time passes."

"Can we read one now? Harry asked.

"Of course we can. But you have to put your pajamas on first so you can get in the bed."

"Okay."

All of Harry's things were in the living room and hadn't been placed anywhere else inside the house yet, so Zayn went there to get his pajamas and a book. When he came back, Harry was already undressed down to his underwear. Zayn smiled. Harry's mother and Grandmother would be furious if they knew this. And they would have been even more furious if they knew Zayn saw him naked when he took a bath earlier today.

Harry soon got dressed and was in bed with the covers pulled up to his chest and he had his alligator too. Zayn knew that stuffed animal would end up taking up even more room in the bed. But he didn't care.

"A nursery rhyme book. You've always loved this one." He opened it up and began to read. "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall..."

Every time he finished a nursery rhyme, he showed Harry the picture to go with it. And he still loved the pictures no matter how many times he saw them. Zayn read the whole nursery rhyme book all the way to the very end. "...The clock struck one. The mouse ran down. Hickory dickory dock. And that's the end."

After showing him the picture and closing the book, he bent down to kiss Harry's forehead. "Goodnight Harry. Sleep well."

"Goodnight Zayn."

He turned over to go to sleep and Zayn figured that while he was trying to get to sleep, he'd go outside and bring in the rest of the items in from the car, even though he knew he wasn't going to put anything where it belonged until tomorrow. He kept thinking about how it was so weird for him to be on his own though. His intentions weren't to ever move out so soon. Especially not at age nineteen. But here he was, married and completely independent from his parents.

Zayn had found these apartments when he was looking online for a place to stay. They were new and had only been built for a year. The rent here had income restrictions and since he would be the only working spouse, it was perfect for them. He could afford to keep up with their one bedroom apartment along with the other expenses he had and not be forced to live in an old apartment with crappy appliances just to do it.

It didn't take him long to finish bringing everything inside but when he went in the bedroom again, Harry was already asleep and his alligator was in the middle of the bed. After undressing down to his underwear, turning off all the lights and getting in bed, he took a long and deep breath.

For the first time in a long time, he was actually going to bed calm. He wasn't wondering what Harry was doing or how his mummy and Nana was treating him at home because he was with him and he was home. Harry was truly home and he was safe and sound the way Zayn had pictured him to be the day he suggested running away with him.

He realized he forgot to tell Harry he loved him when he kissed him goodnight. But he knew that even those three words couldn't really explain how much he loved him. His love was more than superficial. It was real. And Zayn knew he would be spending a long time proving it to him.


	12. ◀⚫12⚫▶

It had been about two months later now and Zayn and Harry were in the car headed up the mountain. Harry had been talking about the mountain in one of his story books all week long, so Zayn decided he'd show him a mountain view in person.

As far as Zayn could see, Harry was still content here. There were a few times when he mentioned his mummy and Nana but he never once said he missed them. It was only to tell Zayn that they used to do a certain task that he would be doing for Harry at the time. For some reason he didn't think he missed them at all. But he also didn't think he could ever have the heart to keep him away from his mother and grandmother forever. Maybe he'd give it another month or so and then ask Harry if he wanted to see them again.

Harry still liked building the forts with Zayn but the more he went out, the less inside activities he worried about doing. At first Zayn was afraid to leave Harry at home alone while he went to work, thinking he might go outside, wander and get himself hurt. But he never left home when he was gone and he didn't even open the door for strangers.

That's when Zayn realized that when he was staying at his mother's house, he only did those things because he was just eager to see new things and talk to new people anyway he could. But when he was with Zayn, he knew there would be more than just the walls of his apartment. He knew Zayn would help him make friends. So he stayed safe in the house and waited for him.

Zayn loved Harry so much. In fact, there was one time, a week ago, when Zayn tried to make love to him. He was very careful and went slow but Harry still stopped 3/4 of the way through and started to cry. So Zayn ended there right away.

"Did I hurt you?" Zayn had asked and he even cried too.

Harry shamefully covered his eyes. "No."

And it didn't hurt. Something about it was really good. But the thing about it was that Harry didn't know how to explain what that _something_ was. It was such a foreign feeling that had come over him in that moment and whatever it was that had gone through him, it scared him more than excited him.

Nevertheless, Zayn moved on from it and continued to love him all the same.

"We're here." Zayn said and he pulled over to the side of the road on the grass. They both got out of the car and looked across the way over to all the other mountains around them. "What do you think about it Harry? How do you like it?"

"Pretty." Harry said. "I like it."

"Me too."

"Cows!" Harry pointed out as he looked down toward the valley. "Brown cows. Not like the... The other cows in my- in my books. The white and black ones."

Zayn smiled. "Yep. Those are different cows."

"And that's a bull... Cause it's got- of its horns."

Zayn looked over to the other direction in which Harry was pointing and saw the black bull. "He's huge, isn't he?"

"Really big."

Zayn just grinned happily as they sat down in the grass next to each other. He was so proud of him. All the times that he had taught Harry things had paid off. In the beginning, he didn't understand why they tried to keep Harry from learning how to read, write a few things and other tasks he could do despite his mental disabilities. But he figured it out the day they left when Harry's grandmother said that he was incompetent.

That wasn't completely true. Harry wasn't incompetent in all things. There were so many things he could know, do and learn to do. But somebody just had to be patient with him and be willing to teach him. And he could see that they were only interested in hiding him from the world. He didn't know why but he kept getting the idea that they were actually embarrassed by him. His own mother and grandmother were ashamed of him and were willing to hide him away from the public because of it.

The more time passed, the less Harry reminded him of an eight year old. It was like the boy was growing up before his eyes. Of course he still read to him most nights and played with him in the middle of the floor sometimes but it was just different. And he could see the little changes in Harry.

"Zayn."

"Hm?" He crossed his legs and looked at Harry.

"I um... I want to try again."

Zayn tilted his head in confusion. "Try what again?"

"That we did. I- I promise I won't... I won't cry."

Zayn still didn't understand. "I'm confused. What are you talking about Harry?"

"I won't cry." He said again and he shook his head. "And you didn't hurt me. It didn't hurt... I was um- I was- I was scared. I never did that."

When harry mentioned the fact that Zayn didn't hurt him, Zayn knew exactly what he was talking about and he froze. As much as he'd like to quickly make up that harsh experience of the night he took Harry's virginity, Harry clearly didn't really understand what he was asking for. If he was scared last time, the end result of love making would probably just surprise him even more. "Harry."

"Huh?"

"If we tried again, I think it would best if we waited a little bit longer to do it. I don't wanna run and do it too soon and I think it's best for both of us that way, okay?"

Harry nodded. "Okay."

Zayn pulled Harry over to him and kissed his cheek and temple. "We're going to make my mum's amazing brownie recipe when we get home. I'll even let you lick the spoon."

"Chocolate. I like chocolate."

"Me too. We'll do that later."

"I want to touch those." Harry suddenly said.

Zayn laughed when he saw the direction he had nodded in. "You want to touch the cows?"

"Yeah. And that bull."

"Well, I'm sorry. You can't touch them. But maybe I'll take you to a petting zoo one day so you can pet some other cows. How does that sound?"

"Okay."

The weather was so beautiful and Harry got to see this mountain when everything had not too long come out and was green and full. Zayn had never been here before either. He wondered if it looked like this during all the warm months and not just April when it was Spring. But just in case it wasn't, he wanted to enjoy this to the full now. So he put his arm around Harry while Harry silently plucked at the grass in front of them.

The day Zayn saw Harry being pushed in the head by that group of boys and came to his rescue, this was the last thing he saw in his future. He didn't expect to be here today or do any of this. But if there was one thing he could say, he didn't regret it. He would have never found such a beautiful boy had he not. And he would have never found the light and love of his life if he had have ignored them and kept on walking.

Harry was special. And no, not what the world's meaning of special would be when they took one look at him. But he was _truly_ special in every extraordinary way and Zayn loved him just as the eighteen year old man he was. He would never change a single thing about him.

"I love you Harry." he spoke soothingly when he rubbed up and down his shoulder.

"Love you too, Zayn." Harry said. And Zayn didn't even have to worry about if he could really comprehend what he was saying or not.

He already knew that he knew.

Every single time he took one look in those rare and bright green eyes and saw the way they looked at him, he knew.

*****

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope this story warmed your heart as much as it warmed mine to write it.
> 
> If you are curious about any research I did and are curious about some things within the story, you can always go to [this link.](https://www.wattpad.com/297975079-as-you-are-%C2%BB-zarry-my-research)
> 
> Have any other questions or just want to talk to me in general, I'm [here!](http://itszaynandharry.tumblr.com/)


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